How To Call Yves Klein - A Pataphysical Sèance

Photo by Hal Schulman

Derek DelGaudio

April 8, 2024

To combat the bulimia with which these times stain the symbolic world*, follow the steps below:

1. Find a quiet space. Acquire the latitude and longitude of that location and measure its distance to The Void† . Now, convert that number of miles to inches, reducing it to a length you can hold.

2. Fashion a line that length from strips of torn canvas‡ , dyed blue with the anointed pigment § , all tied together by knots. Lay this line in your space for others to find at their seat.

3. You will also need a special variation of the Monotone-Silence Symphony**, specifically crafted to contact Klein††. Find it here for your convenience.

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4. Play the tune‡‡ and hold the line.

5. Close your eyes. Become a silent and static witness to the messages you receive §§. DO NOT LET GO OF THE LINE.

Derek DelGaudio is a writer, director, and magician. DelGaudio created the award-winning theater show and film, In & Of Itself. He wrote the acclaimed book, AMORALMAN, served as the artist-in-residence for Walt Disney Imagineering, and co-founded the performance art collective A.Bandit. He is currently an Affiliate Scholar at Georgetown University and co-conspirator at Deceptive Practices, a creative firm known for designing illusions and providing "Arcane Knowledge on a Need-to-Know Basis.”